The Best Evening Routines for Women Over 50 Struggling With Sleep

Finding the best evening routines can seriously change how well you sleep—especially during midlife. Whether it’s shifting hormones or a never-ending to-do list, winding down in a way that actually works is more important than ever. Not perfect. Not Pinterest-worthy. Just real.

The 3 AM Club (You’re Not Alone)

There I was again. 3:17 AM. Wide awake. No noise, no drama—just me, my hormones, and that glowing rectangle whispering, “Wanna scroll?”

If that sounds familiar, you’re in good company. For many of us in midlife, it’s not falling asleep that’s tricky—it’s staying asleep. Our brains click on like someone flipped a switch, and suddenly we’re replaying conversations, revisiting our grocery list, or questioning that weird thing we said in 2009.

But here’s what I’ve learned: how we end the day matters. A lot. And when I take that seriously (but not too seriously), sleep tends to come easier.

Why the Best Evening Routines Matter in Midlife

Evenings used to be a blur of tasks. One last load of laundry, one more scroll, one more episode. But at some point, my body started asking for something different. Gentler. Slower. More intentional.

Midlife shifts everything. Our hormones, energy, emotions—it’s all in flux. So our evenings? They deserve care too.

This isn’t about strict schedules or productivity hacks. It’s about peace. And peace, at this stage, feels more essential than ever.

Little things—like rubbing lavender on my wrists or sitting in quiet for a minute—send a message to my nervous system: you’re safe now. You can soften. There’s research to back this up, too—disrupted sleep in midlife is tied to increased depressive symptoms. But rituals that help us wind down can nudge our rhythms back into sync (source: News Medical).

What Actually Helps Me Sleep (Sometimes)

Most nights, my husband and I watch a show together. Yes, there’s a screen involved. But that small ritual of shared laughter or a good story helps us shift out of the busyness of the day.

After that, it’s hit or miss. I have every intention to journal. I rarely do. I want to skip the YouTube rabbit hole. I often don’t. Some nights I stretch, and it feels like magic. Lavender spray on my pillow? A must. It’s like a scented exhale.

And yes, I still wake up at 3 AM more often than I’d like. But on the nights when my day has included emotional release—like after hosting my daughter’s graduation party—I sleep more deeply. Maybe that’s the real secret: not more supplements, but more working myself to a point of emotional exhaustion.

I fantasize about candlelit baths. I even have the candles. I just need my husband to fix the bathtub. (Progress, right?)

5 Gentle Shifts That Help Me Wind Down

If your evenings feel chaotic, or just too full of everyone else’s needs, here are a few shifts that help me find calm. Try what feels right. Leave the rest.

1. Ease into it

Give yourself a 20-minute buffer between “doing” and “resting.” No obligations. Just space. Sometimes I stretch. Sometimes I breathe. Sometimes I just stare at a wall and let my thoughts catch up. That’s enough. You’ll find more ideas like this in my favorite self-care rituals for midlife women.

2. Choose comfort

Soft light. Cozy socks. A mug of lavender tea. A cooling weighted blanket when the weather cooperates. Not every night is spa-worthy, but sensory comfort makes a real difference. You can also check out this organic essential oils wellness set*—it’s a go-to.

3. Move gently

A few yoga poses. A five-minute walk. A slow breathing exercise. It doesn’t need to be a whole routine. Just something to remind your body: we’re settling now. If you’re curious, this pairs well with my tips in wellness routines for women over 50.

4. Scroll less, reach more

Some nights I reach for a book or my journal instead of my phone. It’s not about being perfect. It’s about breaking the habit gently. Journaling helps me process, even if I only write a few lines.

5. Connect, then quiet

Laugh with your partner. Text a friend. Hug someone. Then, let the vibe shift—soft music, silence, dim lights. Emotional connection helps me release the day. It’s part of my larger midlife mindset shift—one that invites presence, not pressure.

Let Go and Wind Down

Ask yourself: What am I carrying into bed that I don’t need anymore?

A to-do list. A regret. A lingering comment that doesn’t deserve space in your head.

Even if your evening routine isn’t flawless, changing one small thing tonight can shift your whole rhythm. Let go of the pressure to get it “right.” Let yourself off the hook.

Sometimes the most nourishing thing we can do is remind ourselves: I’ve done enough. I am enough.

P.S. If you’re lying awake at 3 AM, you’re not broken. You’re not weird. You’re just human. And somewhere out there, I probably am too—thinking about you and sending sleepy solidarity.

*This post may contain affiliate links, including Amazon Affiliate links. If you click and make a purchase, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. I only recommend products and partners I believe in and feel align with the values of The Midlife Refresh. Thank you for supporting my work and this midlife community!

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